Friends for life

I remember it like was yesterday.  The nurse revealing the results of my in-vitro pre transfer, "You have two grade A embryos.  Now remember, you did so well the first time you may only want to put back one of those embryos.   However, even if you put two back chances are it would probably only result in one baby."

I simply told her no, we would transfer two embryos and God would take it from there.  It’s amazing the control there is nowadays for people to dictate how many children they wanted to make their "perfect family’."

Well two embryos were transferred and you guessed it, TWINS: two beautiful girls, Emily and Sara.   It is mind-blowing to think "what if I only chose to transfer one embryo?"

Which one would not be here today? Emily or Sara?  Imagine what I would have taken away from one of these perfect girls?  Their best friend, their soul mate for life!

Emily and Sara are almost 6 years old now and since their birth they have had in incredible bond.  

Immediately after they were born, they were swaddled together in their crib sucking each other's fingers, breathing softly on each other's faces.   It is tough to have them separated at any time. 

One cold Christmas Eve, when the girls were two years old, they both came down with a terrible flu and I had to take them to them both the emergency room. As Sara was being weighed, Emily had to remain in triage.  Being so sick, they couldn’t bear to be apart, so they were both screaming for each other.  Emily would wail "Where’s Yaaa Yaaa!?" (that’s how she said Sara at the time).  Sara could hear her crying and would yell back, "AIEEEEE" (saying Emily). 

It was so heartbreaking to listen to.  When they were brought back together they just stared at each other with tear-filled eyes as if to say "thank God you’re here!"

One amazing, unexplainable facet of Emily and Sara's relationship is that when they were teething they would each get the same teeth the same exact day! I found it strange since Emily and Sara are fraternal twins with completely different body types. 

Coincidence happens once or twice.  But every time?  There is no explanation! They finish each other's sentences and thoughts.  At times they have a communication that only they understand. One will start a funny story about an experience they shared and the other will naturally pick up midstream to finish and they will both end up laughing hysterically. 

They are my Thelma and Louise.  I never had a sister to share experiences, and I can live vicariously through their relationship. To this day they still sleep together.   I’m not sure why I bothered to have two beds.  They shared a crib, then Emily’s bed, and lately they sleep on the floor because it’s like camping.  They use a body pillow instead of a standard one so they can share it.  In the middle of the night if one gets up and tries to come in with me, the other one is sure to follow. 

Being without each other is not an option. They were in the same class at preschool last year, and there was an incident where Emily was not invited into the "girls" club their friends had created.  Emily came home completely devastated.  Sara went to school the next day demanding that Emily be in the "girls" club too or she was out. 

I suppose it was a simple oversight of the other female classmates to omit Emily.  Nonetheless, I was so proud to see that they will stand up for one another.  This year, however, they are starting Kindergarten and will not be in the same class.  I decided it was time to separate them so they may seek out their own individuality.

I know as they get older, they will protect each other and probably hide secrets from me and cover for the other.  They will get their driver's license together, go to the prom together and graduate high school together.  And that’s just the beginning! 

They have so many experiences to share. Disbelief runs through me as I try to imagine what life would be like for the other if one were not here.  It’s just inconceivable.   I’m sure they would have their friends, toys, interests and would not know any different. 

But what they have now with each other is priceless, treasured and unique from most.  They each share a part of their soul with each other.   They have that one person (other than their parents) who will say "I am always here for you." 

Think about it.  As parents we only spend the first half of our children's lives with them.  We are not there to guide them through middle age and retirement.  Of course Emily and Sara will have their brother and friends with them as the years go by.  But these two will have each other for life.  

Each of us goes through life alone.  We all have relationships with people to guide us through, distract from the inevitable and grow from. But with twins it is different.  They do not go through life alone; they are molded together, same blood, same feelings, loving each other unconditionally for life.  The bond is powerful and phenomenal.    

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